The Wotan’s Day Gaming Video
Today we are debuting a new tradition - The Wotan’s Day Gaming Video. Every Wednesday we will post something gaming related, usually music and usually something funny. Granted that means funny by our standards and we are sick people.
Today I’d like to kick it off with a couple of Brooklyn hobbits laying down the beats about Middle Earth.
Advisory: As with all videos posted in this series you may have to bleach out your brain afterward. You have been warned!
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Kalidor’s Prayer
Gods, grant me the Will save to accept the things I cannot change
The DM to fudge the rolls of things I can
And a Wisdom high enough with the sufficient bonus to know the difference.
–Kalidor’s Prayer
(I honestly have no idea where I originally found this….)
Read MoreDice Jockeys
Now this is something wonderful. A new series of locally produced video shorts featuring two old partners in crime of mine: Wild Bill Dykes, who suffered the Blues with me many late nights; and Lewis D’Aubin aka Dr. Milo Thaddeus Pinkerton III the founder an leader of the Consortium of Genius.
The topic is gaming. Old fashioned table top RPG gaming of the Dungeons and Dragons variety. Since I write a lot of gaming material myself and run a weekly game I think its great. Your mileage may vary, but any gamer will feel as though they were hit with Tasha’s Hideous Laughter…
Since this version of WordPress does not play nice with YouTube embeds here is a link to the video.
Dice Jockeys, its a natural 20!
-Loki, HumidCity Founder (xposted from HumidCity)
If Wizards Of The Coast Invented Chess
- There would be a new version of the rules every seven years. The idea that the rules could stay the same for thousands of years would be, frankly, laughable
- In the latest rules for chess, Pawns would be renamed Hellspawn Warblades. Similarly, the other pieces would be called Warknights, Warkings, Warqueens, etc
- There would be no rules for Castles. They existed in previous editions of the rules, but have been strangely absent in recent versions
- To be able to play chess, you need (at least) the three core Chess rulebooks – the White Player’s Handbook, the Black Player’s Handbook and the Boardmaster’s Guide. These are each 300+ pages, and cost at least $100 in total. In the latest edition, many pages have a single column of text beside a huge image covering the rest of a double spread. This is called good desgin, not spurious padding
- The number of chess pieces varies with each edition. Earliest versions of chess was intentionally vague as to the number of pieces per player; later editions set the number at four, then five. The idea of each player being able to handle 16 pieces at a time is viewed as impossible, and is not supported nor endorsed by the rules
- Wizards would release supplements titled “The Complete Bishop”, “The Complete Queen”, etc. Amazingly, people would buy these
- The board would be made of stiff cardboard. This would be viewed as a Good Thing
- The latest edition of the Chess Rules bears strong similarity to a game called World of Checkers. Wizards insists it isn’t, and even if it is, that’s a Good Thing too. This is despite the fact that World of Checkers is, basically, Chess for fucktards anyhow
- Pawns (sorry, Hellspawn Warblades) are just as powerful as all the other pieces on the board. In fact, all of the pieces are of exactly the same power level. This is called Balance. This is not a Good Thing
- In the newest rules, Chess pieces can move in any direction on the board
- Three words: Attacks of Opportunity
- The only way to get chess pieces is through purchasing random booster packs. Kings and Queens are rare, meaning being able to play a single game is all-but-impossible. Pieces soon appear on eBay for highly inflated prices
- Wizards will announce a Chess Initiative allowing people to play Chess (get this) online! This will require a paid monthly subscription to be able to participate. People will sign up and pay for this by the thousands
Hey, I’m only saying………
xposted by kind permission of the author, Greywulf. Original Here.
Read MoreGeorge Bush’s DND Character, and more…
And Paris Hilton and Stephen Hawking….
Wired has a great collection of nine contemporary public figures stated out for DND. Hilarious! For example:
Read MoreParis Hilton
Actress
Chaotic Neutral Human
Strength: 9
Intelligence: 9
Wisdom: 8
Constitution: 10
Dexterity: 14
Charisma: 18
Special Abilities: Wiggling out of jail time for DUI charges, washing cars in an entertaining manner.Posted by: Aaron Rowe
Political Monster Manual
Somebody sent me these dangerous 1st edition political monsters.
I thought I’d share them with you.
John McCain (Demon Prince of Republicans.) (Lesser God.)
FREQUENCY: Very rare
NO APPEARING: 1
ARMOUR CLASS: -7
MOVE: 3″ (72″ per flight sector on the campaign jet)
HIT DICE: 200 hit points (But first you have to defeat 4d8 Secret Service Agents)
% IN LAIR: 0%
TREASURE TYPE: All your NATO base are belong to us!
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: Invades Iran. Takes 100d20 casualties in first strikewhile inflicting 20 x 100d20 civilian casualties. Followed by war of attrition, economic collapse, recrimination.
SPECIAL ATTACKS: 5% chance of 30,000 Megaton nuclear first strike on Upper Volta.
SPECIAL DEFENSES: +3 or better weapon to hit. In event of combat, 20% chance of heart attack per round, followed by the swearing in of President Santorum. You wouldn’t want that, would you?)
MAGIC RESISTANCE: 80% (10% vs. mind control spells by Cheney.)
INTELLIGENCE: Normal.
CHARISMA: 12 (16 to neocons)
ALIGNMENT: Chaotic evil if under control of Cheney; otherwise Chaotic neutral.
SIZE: M
LEVEL/X.P. VALUE: X/29,950* (* for impeachment)
A huge, ancient, carnivorous dinosaur from the swamps at the heart of Republican country, not unlike Godzilla in appearance and wrinkled integument, McCain has seen better years. Nevertheless he can breathe fire and threaten to stomp flat the capital city of any country that Fox News disapproves of with the best of them.
The biggest danger in facing off against a McCain is that he might beunder the mind control of the Svengali-like Cheney, Prince of Darkness. In this case, he is likely to be lethally aggressive and even more unpredictable than usual.
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NEWS: D&D Minis: Modrons
Yup, nice one. Unfortunately it is April 1st and the page name in the url starts with “aprilfool_”
Would that it were true. I’d do anything but more FEMA paperwork to see that….
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Backtalk